Glimmer
by rollsdownhill
Summary: Post season 6, about one year later. Luke and Lorelai try to hold on to that glimmer despite the events of the past year. Inspiration from song Glimmer by Aqualung
1. A Separate Peace

I originally posted this story about 3 or 4 years ago. It wasn't until recently that I not only found a somewhat renewed inspiration, but I've actually had time to work on the story. I planned on just updating, but after reviewing the previous chapters, I realized how...bad it was. I decided to completely remove the story and repost it. I figured if those who have already read it decided to come back, they wouldn't have remembered a thing that happened anyway.

It's the same plot and events, just crappy writing made a little less crappy :)

I'm also doing the same with my other story _Things Yoo Make Me Do_, it's just going to take a while to go through the entire story, but it shouldn't be too long before it is reposted.

This story is post season 6. The "present" parts of the story are around a year after the season six finale while the flashbacks...well that's kinda self-explanatory I guess haha. It's slightly AU at times, and that T rating is a strong one for language and some violence

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Chapter 1: A Separate Peace<p>

She took a deep breath, letting her eyes gradually flutter open as they adjusted to the light that was flooding into the room. She smiled as she felt her back snuggled against the large, warm body that was sleeping behind her. His arm draped across her waist; his finger tips softly touched the bare skin under her shirt. She gently laid her hand across his and set her head in the crook of his arm, pleased with her new position. She could feel him taking small, steady breaths on her back and the hot air hitting her neck. Slowly, she turned her head towards his, watching his content face as he slept soundly. She had found his expression being like this more and more over the past few months.

Turning back around, she looked across the bed; _all_ the way across the bed. Bit by bit, a grin appeared on her face. Suddenly, she felt a rush of air as their two bodies separated, and then watched his large hands grasp at the sheets on the bed as he yelled in a sharp whisper, "Oh God!" He made his way safely back onto the bed, as much as he could, and let out a deep, exasperated sigh from behind her.

"Luke?" she asked, hesitantly but amused at the same time.

"Yeah?" he responded, irritated.

"You awake?"

"Seeing that I just answered your prior question, I probably am." The sarcasm was apparent in his voice.

Biting her lip and closing her eyes, she said softly, "I'm so sorry."

"Every, single, night," he said simply.

"Not every nigh-"

"Every, single night," Luke countered with emphasis.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she answered honestly. "Maybe we're evolving."

The statement brought upon a snort from Luke. "What are we evolving into; birds? Instead of migrating south, we migrate to the edge of the bed?"

"Maybe it's a sign," she tried again, seeing that her former suggestion made no sense whatsoever.

"Yeah, a sign telling us that we need to sleep in two totally different beds."

"No one's that conservative," she said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm just saying that you need to control your nightly movements."

"Of course. In my state of REM, I'll control everything that I'm doing. That's what I call a piece of cake. Better yet, a piece of chocolate cake, because it's much more satisfying."

Luke groaned, knowing that this conversation, not unlike all of their other conversations on this topic, was getting him nowhere. "Just don't move, okay?" he said quietly, trying to figure out a way to maneuver himself back onto the bed without it being a hospital bed after he hit the floor.

"What?" Lorelai asked, turning towards Luke, putting all of her weight on him while doing so, and…

_Thud!_

That's exactly sound he made once his body made contact with the floor. A loud, solid, thud.

"Oh my God, Luke!" Lorelai lay on her stomach across the width of the bed, positioning herself to face him. She tried not to laugh. She at least wanted to make sure he was alright before she mocked him.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit!" he moaned, getting louder after each one.

"Luke, sweetie, you okay?" She pulled herself closer to the edge of the bed to get a better look at him. She didn't mean to knock him over the edge. She truly didn't hear what he said. Too bad she forgot what position she had put him in; she could've saved him a whole lot of pain.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" he asked, taking his hands off of his face now that the pain was starting to leave.

"Well, you're dammits could be dammits of joy?"

Luke stared at her for a few seconds before saying, "I wouldn't be so happy if I were you."

"What, you gonna hurt me?" she asked mockingly.

"Just in case you haven't noticed, I am bigger than you."

"Oh, trust me, I've noticed," she responded, giving him a quick, 'I've seen you with your clothes off' wink.

"Geez," His head hit the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

"Besides," she continued, "I'm superior to you anyways."

"Oh, really?" Luke sat up again, turning so he was now facing her.

"Yeah, I mean, look at me in a warm, comfy, elevated bed, and you're down there on the cold, stinky, dirty floor."

"And you think that makes you superior?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do."

Luke sighed, stretching out his arm toward her.

"What?" she asked.

"Help me up," he said impatiently, as if his gesture was the most obvious thing in the world.

Lorelai looked at his hand and chuckled, saying, "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"Do you really think I'm that playful?" he countered.

"Got a point there," she said softly, reaching out to take his hand. And, against his own word, in one swift motion, he pulled her off of the bed and on top of him, earning a scream from Lorelai.

She calmed down a bit, her heart rate slowed, and she rested her forehead against his, saying, "Well, isn't that ironic. I could've sworn you said that you weren't that playful."

Luke smiled in response, taking a stray piece of hair and pushing it behind her ear. "Guess I misjudged myself," he said nonchalantly.

"Yes, that explains everything," she said, playing along. She kissed him once...twice, before stating, "You know, I'm still superior." She looked down at herself. "I'm still not touching the floor." And Luke being Luke, stubborn and full of pride—much like Lorelai—, changed that swiftly, flipping them over so that he was on top of her.

He settled himself between her legs, his right hand gently stroking her cheek. Luke leaned down, their lips touched, instantly making contact. He slowly kissed her, savoring the moment they were spending together. Lorelai deepened the kiss and let out a small moan in the process.

Luke moved from her lips and planted a small trail of kisses down her jaw line to her neck. She ran her fingers through his hair and wrapped her right leg around his waist. "You know what," she said in a breathy voice, "you can be superior for the rest of our lives for all I care."

Luke kissed her on the cheek and brought his lips to her ear, saying, "I like the sound of that: the rest of _our_ lives."

Luke moved to the bottom of her ear, giving her the smallest bite that sent the most unbelievable feeling down her spine. Suddenly there was a feeling in her stomach that she always tried to avoid at all cost. A feeling that she never welcomed, and if she didn't do anything about it quick, it could get ugly. "Luke?" she asked.

Silence.

"Luke?" Lorelai asked again. His only response was of him sliding the spaghetti strap of her shirt off of her shoulder, replacing the bare area with his lips.

Knowing that he wasn't going to respond to her anytime soon, she continued on. He had to hear her voice sooner or later. "Okay, um." Lorelai had to get her head clear first. The patterns his tongue was making on her skin really wasn't helping her stop him. "Look, as much as I would _love_ to continue what we've started, I kinda need to get some food in my stomach to survive so I won't, you know, die of starvation."

Luke stopped and buried his head in her neck, letting out a small groan. "Why do you always have to ruin my fun?" he asked her seriously.

"Because," she teased, "it makes my fun to ruin yours."

"Well that's a comforting thing to know," he deadpanned. Luke sat up onto his knees, while Lorelai sat up also, her legs on both sides of him. She gave him a small pout, apologizing, and he rolled his eyes, his way of saying she was forgiven. He reached over and pulled her strap back on her shoulder, and outstretched his hands to pull both of them back on their feet.

Lorelai slid her hands up his chest and around his neck, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "I promise," she said. "I absolutely promise to make this up to you tonight." He watched a sly grin form on her face.

"I'm gonna hold you to that."

"Trust me, I won't disappoint," she said, kissing him once again.

"So what do you want for breakfast?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Mmmh, the go-to I guess."

"Okay," he said, starting to pull her towards the doorway.

"Umm, you go ahead. I'll be down there in a minute." He nodded in understanding.

Lorelai watched him disappear into the hallway and listened to his footsteps until they reached the bottom of the stairs. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind her.

She placed both hands on each side of the sink, closed her eyes, and let her head hang down. She stood like that for a while, but, after a few deep breaths, she lifted her head, opened her eyes, and stared at herself in the mirror.

Lorelai liked herself better this way. She looked happier, healthier, vibrant-er.

The past year had been quite eventful for her and Luke, and it could all be summed up in just one word: Christopher.

Her mind drifted back to about 11 months ago when she slept with Christopher. She was stupid. That entire night had been complete chaos. From Christopher being at Friday Night Dinner, to her spilling her heart out to that psychologist, it wasn't that surprising that she ended up giving her fiancé an ultimatum the same night. What was surprising is that she found herself standing outside of Christopher's door.

Her thoughts then fast forwarded to his last visit to the Crapshack, but before she had any time to replay the visit in her head, the smell of bacon and eggs seeped through the cracks of the door and filled her nostrils, saving her from the nightmares she knew she would have if she thought about that night ever again.

Lorelai looked at herself again and smiled. The past year had been hell, but the results weren't all that bad. In fact, it was the only thing that she could've hoped for.

As Lorelai made it to the bottom of the stairs, she turned the corner and headed towards the kitchen and found Luke standing over the stove flipping a pancake. She watched him, memorized by the way he flipped the pancake with such ease. She had insisted on him teaching her how to cook…better, but his only response was always, "If I'm supposed to die today, I want it to be naturally; not because you burned down the house with me still inside."

Luke looked up at the sound of her sigh and smiled. "Hey."

"Back at cha."

Luke pointed his head in the direction of the refrigerator. "Hey, uh, will you get me the sausage out of the fridge? I forgot to get it earlier."

Lorelai nodded and started making her way to the other side of the kitchen. "Thank God I have a man that can cook," she said dramatically, running her hand across his back as she made her way to the fridge. After placing the package on the counter, she took a seat in front of the cup of coffee Luke had already made for her. "God has spared me, you know," she said, staring at the back of his head.

"Why you say that?" he asked turning around to meet her eyes.

"Well, for starters I have you," she said with of shrug of her shoulder.

"Of course," Luke said dryly and turned back around. Lorelai chuckled.

"And, as much as I can remember, all of my serious boyfriends could cook."

Luke furrowed his brow as he listed them all in his head. "Max?" he asked.

"Could cook."

"Alex?"

"Could cook."

"Jason?"

"He didn't cook often, but he knew people who did." A few seconds went by, but he didn't call out anymore names. It didn't surprise her that he didn't mention Christopher. If Luke didn't have to say his name for the rest of his life, he would be perfectly fine. He would probably say 'that kid from your business class', or even Roon before he would say 'Chris'. She was saddened by the fact that she made him this way. She was the one who caused him to act this way.

His last visit came back to her. Her eyes drifted over to where it took place, in front of the stairs. Lorelai closed her eyes quickly before the scene could start. All she wanted was peace, just to make the nightmares and visions go away, but when she opened them, there she was and there _he_ was…

"Chris, please don't do this." She ran her hand across her forehead, trying to rub away the headache she knew was coming.

"Don't do what, Lor? I'm just trying to help you."

Her hand immediately fell as she stared at him in disbelief. "Trying to help me? Trying to help-" She stopped herself short. She heard her voice rising as the anger built up inside of her. She took a few seconds to calm herself down before saying, "Bull, Chris. That's all that ever comes out of your mouth these days; complete bullshit."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "How can you say that? How can you stand there and say that?" He was starting to raise his voice. "As much as I've been there for you; after all that I've done for you-"

She cut him off. "All you've done for me is made my life just as chaotic and worthless as yours for the past six months."

"Hey, if your life has been worthless for the past six months, it wasn't because of me. You made a choice."

"Yes, I did make a choice. I made a choice to keep you out of my life for good, so that's what I'm doing; I'm keeping you out of my life. Now I'm asking you to please go."

"No."

"Go!"

"I'm not going anywhere," he stated with finality in his voice.

Lorelai stood there silently, contemplating her next move. "Well, if you're not going, I am." She started making her way to the door when Chris took a hold of her wrist,-

Lorelai jumped slightly as the phone rang, snapping her out of her trance. "I'll get it," she declared when she saw Luke going towards the phone.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Good morning Lorelai. This is your mother."

"Yep. Naturally it would be her," she muttered. If Lorelai Gilmore was ever 'saved by the bell', the holder of the bell ringing usually wasn't to her liking. Exhibit A: Emily Gilmore.

"Excuse me?" Emily asked, not making sense of her daughter's incoherent mumbling.

"Nothing mother. You called?"

"Yes, I need to ask you something. Tomorrow…"

Emily's voice faded out as Lorelai watched Luke put pancakes, eggs, four sausages, and four pieces of bacon on her plate. Lorelai cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow at him. Luke looked up and then back to the plate after seeing her expression. He gave an exasperated sigh as he went back to the counter and placed another piece of bacon on her plate. He held out the plate for her inspection, giving her a look that said 'You happy?' She smiled in approval and winked at him as he placed her plate on the table. "Crazy, crazy lady," he mumbled.

"…so I was wondering if you were available? Lorelai? Lorelai, are you listening to me?"

"Oh, uh, yes mom, I'm listening," she stuttered after hearing Emily's voice.

"What did I just say?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes. She could just see her mother, arms crossed, nose in the air. "You know what, it just suddenly slipped my mind. Why don't you tell me again?"

Emily started off sternly. "Well, as I said before, I was wondering if you were available tomorrow morning."

Lorelai debated it in her mind. Should she say yes, should she say no? Of course she wasn't busy tomorrow morning; it was Sunday. But this was her mother she was talking to. "No. I'm not busy."

"Well good. I'll see you here at 8:15 for church in the morning."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What did you say?" She had to be mistaken.

"To make a long story short, Lily Vancouver-"

"Who?"

"You know Lilly Vancouver. Her daughter is Jane Vancouver."

Lorelai was drawing a blank.

Emily sighed. "The little girl's hair you cut off in 1st grade."

Lorelai smiled as Jane flooded back into her memory. "Oh, _her_ mother."

Emily heard her daughter giggle on the other end. "How you managed to get the teacher's scissors I still don't know."

"Well," Lorelai shrugged, "she had it coming."

"You had no right to do what you did to that poor little girl."

"She took my crayons!" Lorelai countered.

"For the last time Lorelai, they weren't your crayons; they were the class' crayons!" Emily retorted.

"They were on my desk," she replied rather calmly with a pout.

Luke sat at the table with a confused expression on his face. 'When did they start talking about crayons?'

Emily was silent on the other end. She decided to drop the subject and continue on with what her phone call was about in the first place. "As I was saying, Lilly called me the other day and invited us to go to church with them tomorrow. Apparently there's going to be some motivational speaker there."

"And 'us' being?"

"You, me, your father, and Rory."

"So Rory's going?" she asked hopefully.

"No, she's not going to be able to make it." She heard Lorelai groan in the background. "Do you have to do everything with Rory?"

"When it comes to mocking, yeah."

"You certainly will not be mocking anyone in a church, Lorelai. Show some respect."

"Fine, fine." She glanced over to Luke who was calmly eating his breakfast. "Well, can I bring Luke instead?"

At the sound of his name, Luke's head shot up. Lorelai watched him as he vigorously shook his head from side to side, mouthing the word 'no' to her over and over again. He had no idea what she was talking about, and yet he didn't want to go, all because Emily Gilmore was involved.

"No," Emily said calmly with coldness in her voice.

Lorelai could practically hear her snarling on the other end. "Does it really matter, mom? Rory isn't going to be there, Luke can just take her place."

"She invited Rory, Lorelai, not Luke. It's final. You already told me you were free tomorrow, so I'll see you at 8:15."

"Why 8:15, Mom? I mean. I haven't been to church in a while, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't start until around ten or eleven o'clock."

"We have to go to Sunday School," she said dreadfully. Emily didn't want to go just as much as Lorelai didn't.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"Lily invited us to Sunday School and Church. It would be rude for us not to attend."

"You know what else would be rude?"

"I don't, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to. Please, Lorelai, just show up at our house at 8:15."

Lorelai groaned into the receiver. "Fine, I'll be there."

"Thank you. Goodbye, Lorelai. Have a nice day."

Lorelai immediately hung up the phone without saying bye. "Sure, you say that now." She tossed the phone on the kitchen table and sat back down in her chair. She looked up at Luke who was sitting across from her. "I'm going to church tomorrow," she said dreadfully.

"I heard."

She put some eggs on her fork and took a bite. "It's cold."

Luke pointed towards the microwave with his fork as he chewed his last bite of pancake. She got up and put her plate in the microwave, pressing start. She thought of tomorrow's event, still trying to figure out how she got roped into attending church. She asked for peace and what did she get? Four hours with her mother. But wasn't church a place where people went for peace, to get away from life and focus on something else; focus on the one person or thing that could help them? She sighed as she sat down again, hotter food in front of her. Maybe church wouldn't be too bad. Maybe tomorrow would be her peace.

* * *

><p>I still couldn't make that ending any less cheesy haha Hopefully updates won't come three years at a time this time around :)<p>

Review, let me know if it's worth it to continue!


	2. Knocking Is the First Step to Salvation

Chapter 2: Knocking is the First Step to Salvation

"Why are you not helping me?" Lorelai asked in frustration. She had been standing in her robe in front of her closet for the last ten minutes trying to decide what dress she was going to wear to church, and Luke was doing absolutely nothing to help her.

"You didn't ask for my help." Luke was lying in their bed with his hands behind his head, amused by the stress she was putting herself through. He let himself relax with a smile on his face, watching her sift through the closet for the millionth time.

She stopped and turned around to face him. "Yes, I did. I stood right here in this very spot and said, 'What should I wear?'."

"It was a rhetorical question, Lorelai," he countered.

Lorelai let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine," she said. "Luke, what should I wear?"

"How about the red dress," he offered.

"The red dress?" she asked in disbelief.

"I like the red dress."

"Yes, that's because I wear it when we go on a date when I'm trying to seduce you. I'm not trying to seduce anyone at church."

"Alright, the black one," he offered again.

"Am I going to a funeral, Luke?"

Now Luke was the one getting exasperated. "Look, Lorelai, just choose one. Close your eyes, reach your hand in, and pull on a hanger if you have to. What you get is what you get." The look she was giving told him that she wasn't going for the idea. "How about the blue dress then? Is there anything wrong with the color blue?" He saw her contemplating the question, most likely trying to find the slightest thing wrong about wearing the color blue to church. "Lorelai," he warned.

"Fine, fine, I'll wear the blue." After laying the dress across the chair, slipping out of her robe-leaving her in only her underwear-she walked over to the dresser. She slowly lifted her eyes to the mirror in front of her and saw Luke in the background. "Stop staring at me."

"I'm not staring at you," Luke said distractedly, further confirming her accusation.

"Luke, I can see you through the mirror," she said, smiling to herself when she saw him blushing from across the room. "I'm so gonna regret this," Lorelai said, thinking ahead to her morning with Emily and Richard Gilmore.

"It might not be that bad," Luke said, trying to comfort her. He knew how bad spending time with the Gilmore's could be.

"Trust me, it will be. Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" Lorelai asked as she got dressed, trying her luck one more time, even though she knew he'd say no.

Luke quickly declined. "There's no way I'm spending three hours with Emily."

"You know, one of these days she's going to have to learn to like you; pretty soon learn to love you like her own son."

"Yeah, well, you keep grasping at those straws 'cause I gave up a long time ago."

Lorelai laughed. "Hey, will you come fasten this necklace for me?"

Luke made his way over to her, fastening the chain securely around her neck. He slowly slid his hands around her waist as she leaned back into him. "I can't wait 'til I come back home," she said after he kissed her on the cheek. "You going to the diner today?"

"Yeah, I might as well. There's nothing else to do."

"Okay, I'll stop by afterwards." She glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, counting down the seconds to her doom. "I have to get going." She reluctantly stepped out of his embrace and picked up her purse. "I'll see you later," she said, giving him one final kiss.

"Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

><p>Being alone for a 30 minute drive gave Lorelai time to think.<p>

She really didn't want to be with her parents that morning.

To take her mind off of the gut wrenching morning that was soon to come, she thought about one of the things that always lifted her spirits; Luke. It wasn't until recently that she realized how lucky she was to have him. After all that they had been through that past year, he was still there, right by her side. If it were any other guy, he'd be gone, untraceable through the dust cloud left in his wake, but Luke loved her, and she him.

It had taken them a while to get back on track. After the sleeping with Christopher incident, they hadn't spoken to each other for at least two months. Technically it was more of him not speaking to her. After she let things die down a bit, she tried talking to him, tried clearing the air between them, but he wouldn't bring himself to forgive her…

…"Luke, please talk to me," she begged from her seat at his kitchen table. It was only five minutes ago the she came into the diner asking to talk to him. He had been skeptical to say yes, but the diner was slow, and he had nothing else to do, so he decided to sit through another redundant, dramatized episode of, _Luke, I'm So Sorry_." He was getting tired of hearing her apologize, but it was making him feel better knowing that she was suffering through all this. That not talking to her was actually making her feel even worse about the situation. He was aware of the vindictiveness behind his thoughts and reasoning, but he was angry. Soon he would be able to put everything behind him, but not now.

He stood in front of her, hands on his hips, staring into her eyes, showing her that he wasn't at all intimidated by the conversation they were about to have. He still hadn't responded to her plea to talk to her. He only absorbed everything from how tired, depressed, and sorry she looked to how, at the same time, unbelievably beautiful she looked. He watched as she waited for an answer, anything to tell her that all hope wasn't lost.

"Luke, please," she tried again. "Please talk to me. I just, I need to know how you feel. I need to know that you don't hate me, that you'll forgive me. I need…," I need you, she thought to herself, but stopped the words from coming out of her mouth, "I just need something, anything, please."

"Lorelai, I can't do this." The words were foreign to him. He wasn't planning on saying that, not that he knew what he was going to say to begin with. Still, he went along with it. "I can't do this," he said again. "I can't talk to you, I can't be around you; not right now."

"But Luke, you know that I'm-"

"Sorry? Yeah, I know. Do you think I didn't notice the other hundred times that you've told me?" he asked raising his voice slightly.

"Luke, I'm trying here. I'm trying so hard to earn your forgiveness. I'm trying to talk to you, to show you that what happened that night meant nothing, absolutely nothing to me."

"Then why'd you do it?" he shot right back at her.

"Because, I was angry. I was angry at you and I was angry at myself, and I… lost control and obviously sanity to go along with it. Apparently it was a two for one deal that night." she ended sarcastically. She was on the verge of tears. "I didn't know what I was doing. I was sad, and I was angry, and I just…lost control."

Luke scoffed, obviously not happy with her answer.

"What else do you want me to say?" Lorelai asked exasperated. "That I was possessed by some evil spirit when I slept with Christopher?"

He said nothing.

"Luke, please, just tell me, do you forgive me? That's all I need to know."

He stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, but she could swear that during that eternity she had dropped her into an alternate universe, because she sure as hell wasn't expecting to hear what came out of his mouth next.

"No, I don't."

He was out the door and back down at the diner, continuing on with his daily routine while Lorelai stood in his apartment, staring at the spot where he once stood, letting the tears flow freely down her face…

Those weren't exactly happy Luke thoughts, but they beat Christopher thoughts any day. Before she even had time to contemplate Christopher, she found herself pulling into her parent's driveway. She parked and glanced down at her clock. _8:20. _

She stared at the house, so not wanting to get out of the safety of her car. But the result of her sitting there was her wasting another five minutes.

She made her way to the door and immediately rang the doorbell, trying to make the day go by faster any way that she could. A few seconds later a maid, different from the one that she had seen last Friday, answered the door, took her coat and informed her that Emily and Richard were in the living room. She walked into the living room and was met by her mother's condescending look. "Good morning, Lorelai," Emily said from her seat on the couch, rather cheerfully, her tone not matching her expression.

"Hi, Mom."

"You're late," Emily said, this time, tone now matching expression.

"Yeah, sorry," she started to apologize. "I just," she searched for the right excuse, but, knowing her mother, she'd be able to see right through it, "should've been ready earlier."

"Yes," Emily agreed, "you should've."

Lorelai stood in the middle of the room with her arms crossed, making sure not to make eye contact with her mother. All she wanted was to get through that day without arguing with her mother.

"Do you want to sit down, or has your current case of arthritis prevented you from bending you legs?"

Refraining from retorting, she took a seat on the couch opposite her mother.

They stared at one another, neither saying a word until Emily broke the silence. "So, how is Luke?"

"Luke is fine, Mom," Lorelai said, trying to figure out Emily's motive. "Thanks for asking."

"Yes well, I just wanted to makes sure he was in good health and not attacked by one of those deer he was hunting."

Her faithful stab at Luke.

"Why the hell would Luke be hunting deer, Mom?"

"Lorelai, I asked a simple question."

"Yes, but you gave a condescending follow up."

Emily didn't reply to her daughter's comment, only stared, wondering what her daughter had gotten herself in to. She couldn't believe that her daughter had said 'yes' to that man. He owned a diner, and she, for one, was getting tired of Lorelai's dramatic love life.

She had tried to get to know Luke. She appreciated his attempts to make a good impression, and the more she got know him, she realized that he wasn't a bad man. He had great character and loved her daughter, but he wasn't from their society. Her opinions were suppressed the majority of the time, but her disapproval was apparent every once and a while.

Lorelai looked at her watch. "Hey, aren't we supposed to be leaving soon? It's nine thirty."

Emily glanced at the clock on the wall. "Oh, for crying out loud—Richard!"

Lorelai jumped at Emily shrill scream. "Jeez, Mom. Give me a warning will you?"

"Just give me one minute," Lorelai heard her father call from upstairs.

"Richard, we don't have time for 'one minute'!"

A few seconds later his footsteps were heard on the stairs. "All I asked for was a minute Emily, you didn't have to yell." He noticed Lorelai sitting on the couch. "Oh, well hello Lorelai. Nice to see you again."

"Hey, Dad."

"Was Luke not able to make it?" he asked after scanning the room.

Lorelai sighed. She was sure this was just another one of their ways of pointing out that they hated Luke with every fiber of their being. "He wasn't invited, Dad."

Richard held a confused look on his face. "Well, I was sure that Lily-"

"Come on. We should get going," Emily interrupted. "We don't want to be late."

"But, Dad was just about to tell-"

"If we don't leave now we're going to be late." She grabbed her husband's arm and led him into the foyer, leaving a confused Lorelai in the living room.

She had heard the front door open and wouldn't be surprised if her parents left her there.

"Lorelai!"

* * *

><p>The ride was mostly silent, except for a few sarcastic comments from Lorelai, which of course sent Emily off the edge, forcing Richard to quiet them both down. It was as if they were both children. Two four year olds fighting over the same toy, week after week…<p>

They arrived to the church and made their way inside. Following the sound of a muffled voice speaking through a microphone, they arrived at a set of double doors.

"So, do we just walk in or do we have to knock first?" Lorelai asked her parents.

"You don't have to knock before walking into a church, Lorelai." Emily responded.

"Well, I'm just making sure. God might smite me for disobeying the rules."

"Trust me, if he was going to smite you he would've did it a _long_ time ago," Emily commented.

"Just couldn't hold it in, could you," Lorelai asked her mother.

"Girls, we are getting ready to enter a church."

"We're already inside the church," Lorelai mumbled, immediately regretting her words after seeing the exasperated look on her father's face. "Sorry."

"Could you please be civil for at least once in your lives?" Richard requested in attempt to stop their bickering.

"Fine," they both said at the same time giving in.

Richard walked forward and opened the door. And the three of them watched as every head in the building turned to see who had interrupted the service.

"See," Lorelai whispered in her mother's ear, "I told you we should've knocked."


	3. Children's Bible Polo!

A/N: Lorelai's reflection in this chapter is a continuance from the one in chapter 1.

Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Children's Bible Polo!

Lorelai slumped in the seat beside her mother and rested her head on top of her shoulder. "Lorelai, please," Emily whispered harshly, trying to shrug off her daughter's head.

"Hmm, Mommy," Lorelai whined quietly. She had been sitting for nearly two hours suffering through all of the normal church events, but now she had to sit there and listen to the woman with the high pitched, annoying voice talk about the church's "wonderful" youth program.

"Lorelai, stop acting like a child." She was telling her daughter to stop whining, but she wasn't thrilled to be there herself.

"I'm not acting like a child. I'm acting like a slightly immature adult who's bored out of her mind."

"Well, you could at least try to look interested," Emily bargained.

"I've tried, Mom, you know I've tried, but it's impossible. I haven't been to many churches in my life, but this has to be the most boring one on the face of the planet."

Emily looked around at those surrounding her. "It is kind of dull," she agreed.

"Maybe we should make a run for it," Lorelai proposed, already concocting a plan.

"Are you proposing we just get up and walk out?"

"Yeah."

Emily stopped and began to consider it for a moment before her good morals hit her again. "No Lorelai. We can't just walk out. It would be-"

"Rude and impolite. Yeah, yeah, I know," she finished for her mother.

"Besides," Emily continued, "Lily is seated two seats down from us. She'd know if we left and never came back."

Lorelai leaned forward and spotted Lily two seats down, intently listening to the high pitched women up front.

"How's dad doing?" she asked, watching her father's head drop and shoot back up again as he tried to keep himself awake.

Emily glanced at her husband briefly before directing her attention back up front. "I nudged him every five minutes to make sure he's awake."

Lorelai smiled. Richard had been sitting there quietly for most of the service, but naturally, as soon as the women up front paused during her speech, he let out the loudest snore that she had ever heard emit from her father. So much so that it echoed throughout the room, the vibrations practically bouncing off the walls. Lorelai suppressed her laugh while everyone turned to stare at them. Emily inconspicuously moved closer to Lorelai, trying to make it look as if she had nothing to do with the man she had walked in with. After a few kicks in the shin from Emily, Richard finally awoke, confused as to why everyone was staring at him. The look on her father's face was making it even harder on Lorelai to not laugh, but she could no longer hold it in any longer when she heard him ask her mother, "What did _you_ do?"

Lorelai giggled again as she replayed the scene in her mind.

"You cannot still be laughing at what happened?" Emily asked incredulously.

"What can I say, Mom? Dad's one class act." Emily didn't respond, only continued listening to the women again. Seeing that her mother wasn't going to put up a fight, she turned back around also.

"…so that's what we have set up for the next few weeks. And do you know what else we're going to be having? Children's Bible Polo! To all of you "Newbies" out there, let me explain…"

The squeak flowing from the front was grating her nerves.

Waking up early to go to church with her parents hadn't been the way she pictured her Sunday morning earlier in the week. The plan was to sleep in and not get out of bed until her tummy told her so. Relaxation was the goal and something that both she and Luke were pining for over the course of the week. It was hard finding free time between work and wedding planning for the both of them.

Luke expressed to her from the beginning of their engagement that he wanted to be more involved the second time around. He claimed to realize that his lack of involvement the first time was selfish and played the major role in his accepting her halfhearted proposition to postpone the wedding. His current input hadn't had much influence on the overall plans, but it wasn't productivity that Lorelai was seeking from him, it was the willingness that he claimed to have. In hindsight, they both agreed that his distance the year before had been representative of his relational immaturity rather than societal male norms.

However, both of their personal and relational growths over the past year led to more mutual input, cooperation, and exhaustion at the end of the week when it came to wedding planning.

Luke wasn't yet privy to the fact, but the brunt of Lorelai's exhaustion stemmed from the reemergence of Christopher in her life. His existence was merely in mind, but the presence had the same effect. She had hoped that the early morning outing would be a distraction from the nuance, but the increasing amount of nothingness happening only paved a clear path for his arrival…

"Yes, I did make a choice, Chris. I made a choice to keep you out of my life for good, so that's what I'm doing, I'm keeping you out of my life. Now I'm asking you to please go."

"No."

"Go!"

"I'm not going anywhere," Chris stated with finality in his voice.

Lorelai stood there silently, contemplating her next move. "Well, if you're not going, I am." She started making her way to the door when Chris took a hold of her wrist, forcefully pulling her back towards him.

"No, you're not," he stated, still holding on to her wrist, a little tighter than before.

"Let go of my arm, Chris." Lorelai tried her best to keep the unevenness out of her voice, but it was becoming harder the tighter he gripped her wrist.

"I don't understand, Lor. Why don't you understand that we need each other?"

"Let go of me, Chris." She said it much calmer this time, but he could tell by the anger in her eyes and the tone of her voice that he was getting nowhere by holding her captive.

"Only if you promise to talk to me," he tried to bargain.

"I'll talk to you," she agreed reluctantly. She felt her arm drop to the side, the pressure of his fingers no longer there.

"Lorelai," he started again, convinced that he'd finally get somewhere in the conversation, "I agree, what happened that night between us, under those circumstances, it shouldn't have happened. It was the wrong time. Despite those circumstances Lor, you have to admit, it was good. It was right, me comforting you, holding you in my arms felt right." Chris was practically pleading with her by the end of his sentence.

"No it didn't, Chris. It didn't feel right. You're telling me that you don't understand, shouldn't that be my line, huh?" she asked incredulously, pointing a finger at herself. "Shouldn't I be the one saying that I don't understand why after all these years, after I finally find the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, you decide you want to be a family man, that you want to take care of your kid, that you want to take care of me?" She heard her voice rising and calmed herself down. "I'm not in love with you."

"You don't mean that." He wanted so badly for her to take her words back. Say it was a slip up, that her words got tangled up and it came out the wrong way. He needed her to call it a mistake.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it, Chris." She could see that she was breaking his heart. She could see that he was about to give up hope. She almost felt sorry for him. Almost. "I'm not saying that I don't care about you because I do. You were a major part of my life, at one point the most important part of my life. But we grew up, Chris. We've changed. I'm no longer that fifteen year old girl. You were what I wanted then, but so much more has been added to my list of must-haves for the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and no matter how many times you pop up in my life, you continue to fall short."

"I can be that man, Lor. Just tell me what you want."

"I shouldn't have to tell you what I want, Chris, that's the point. You should just _be_ what I want, and you're not."

"So what, you're telling me that Luke is? He meets every qualification on that list of yours?"

"Sure he doesn't own a replica of the batmobile, but it's not a deal breaker," she quipped snidely.

"Be serious, Lorelai."

"I have been, Christopher, this entire time, but you don't seem to get it. I'm not in love with you."

He shook his head shortly before mumbling what sounded like, "You don't mean it, Lor," before walking out her door. She didn't put down her defensive stance until the sound of his engine was more than a distant sound.

Lorelai felt a slight tapping on her arm, interrupting her reminiscence. She looked down to her right to the little boy sitting next to her, no older than six or seven years old, staring up at her with big, brown eyes. He reached into his bag and pulled out a powdered-cheese covered stick. "Cheeto?" he offered.

She smiled. "No thanks, kid."

He shrugged and stuffed the chip into his mouth, swinging his dangling legs back and forth.

Lorelai envied the boy. He was so careless, so free, no worries.

"You look sad," he said, directing his statement to Lorelai.

"I'm not sad," Lorelai said, "I'm..thinking."

"Thinking about what?" he asked.

"Life, and how it could be a real..pain."

"Yep," he agreed eating another Cheeto. "It can be a real pain in the pooper."

She chuckled lightly. "Hey, what's your name?"

"Danny. My mommy named me after my daddy." All of a sudden outstretched his hand and pointed up to the front. "That's my mommy."

Lorelai looked up to the annoying women, _still_ talking.

"…now I must warn you, horses will be involved…"

Lorelai looked back over to Danny. That little boy had to deal with that voice days on end. "I'm so sorry," she said sympathetically.

"Yeah," he agreed, nodding his head. "Me too."

She smiled again.

"You look like my mommy."

His sudden change of subject caught her off guard. She looked at the blond Danny just compared her to. "I do?"

"Yep. When my daddy left us she would always sit on the couch with a sad look on her face, just like you."

"Your mom and dad aren't together anymore, huh?" Lorelai asked, instantly feeling sympathy for the little boy.

Danny shook his head 'no'. "That's why we come to church. She said she wanted to find her peace."

His choice of words caught her attention. "Did she find it?" Lorelai inquired.

He only shrugged and ate another chip. "Maybe." Danny looked over at her and saw that the sad look had appeared back on her face. "Want some advice?"

She turned towards him with a smile on her face. "Sure. Why not?" She immediately catalogued 'Advice Form a Five Year Old' as a new game show.

"'Don't cry about what happened yesterday. It'll only hold you back from the good things in life'. That's what my mommy always tells me when I see her crying. And then she starts talking about water proof mascara…"

Lorelai tuned out the rest of the Danny's speech about mascara. His first two sentences was the only thing running through her brain. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Everything had happened almost six months ago, and here she was two months before her wedding, still allowing it to affect her. She let Christopher weasel his way into her head once again, this time leaving a permanent mark. She was getting nowhere by letting him stay in her mind. There was no way she could be happy by letting him stay in her mind.

"Our toilet was stopped up."

Once again, Danny's sudden change in subject snapped her out of her thoughts. "What?"

"Yesterday our toilet was stopped up."

"Oh, well, did you get it fixed?" she asked, not knowing how to the six year old's plumbing problems.

He nodded. "Mommy called a plumber that came over and fixed it." Another Cheeto entered his mouth. "And then I found mommy and the plumber wrestling in the bedroom."

Lorelai's eyes widened at his words. "You did? You found them wrestling?"

"Yeah. I think the plumber was winning."

She let out a chuckle. "You and your mom are going to be just fine," she whispered to herself.

She continued to watch as Danny ate, totally uninterested in what his mother was saying. "You know Danny, I think I'll take that Cheeto now." Lorelai smiled when he grinned up at her. He reached into his bag and proudly handed her a Cheeto. "Thanks."

He was so cute with his cheese covered face. His brown eyes and brown hair. 'Blue eyes and brown hair,' she thought to herself.A little Danes, sitting beside her eating Cheeto's. That is what she wished would become reality.


	4. Breakin' the Table

Chapter 4: Breakin' the Table

Luke walked into the house and shut the door behind him. The silence that greeted him told him that Lorelai wasn't home. He had just returned from the diner. He was planning on working until three o'clock, but business was slow, and he much rather wanted to spend his time with Lorelai than with a grease covered Caesar. Slipping off his shoes, he walked into the living room and lay down across the length of the couch. Luke glanced over at the clock that read 1:15. Lorelai would be home soon, most likely ready to tell him another story. There was always a story when it came to spending time with the Gilmores.

He slid deeper into the couch, relaxing himself even more.

He would be married in two months. He smiled at the fact. That's what it was this time, a fact.

He had been skeptical of starting up his and Lorelai's relationship again. He ignored her whenever she would attempt to gain his forgiveness. Lorelai made a decent effort at trying to talk to him. He couldn't count how many times she had stopped by the diner to coax him into a conversation. Only a few choice times did he talk to her, and even those moments were littered with a few less than friendly words. He was skeptical of letting her back in his life, but it was mainly his pride that distanced him form Lorelai.

However, one night the last November he pushed his pride to the back burner.

He remembered. He walked up the steps to her house, at each step pausing to make sure he was doing the right thing. It had been a month since Lorelai had tried to talk to him. As much as it pained him to accept, he knew that she had given up on mending things between them. He didn't blame her. If his advances were continually ignored by someone, he would take it as a hint to back off, the same hint that he was giving Lorelai. However, her surrender spurred him to pursue her.

He realized as he reached the top step that he had no concrete plan, but he wasn't going to let it deter him.

Closing the distance to the door, he reached up and knocked four hard times. It was only a few seconds before the door opened and Lorelai emerged in nothing but a white tank top—no bra—and a pair of red shorts. It was the middle of November. If they were on better terms, he would've commented on her choice of clothing, but there was no reason to tick her off before he even had a chance to say hey.

"Hey," he said stupidly, knowing nothing else to say with her staring at him with such shock and confusion.

"Hey?" she greeted with a tilt of her head.

It was his turn to talk, but he was coming up blank.

"You know, it's kinda' cold outside," she commented, bringing one hand up to her forearm.

"Right, right," he said quickly getting the hint. Luke walked into the house when she stepped back to let him in. The door was closed, but she had yet to turn around or relinquish her hold on the door knob. "If you want me to go I can-"

"No, don't go," she cut him off as she quickly turned to face him. "Its fine, I promise."

Luke didn't find her promise so convincing, but he went along with it anyway. He followed Lorelai to the couch, each taking a seat on their respective halves. Luke leaned his elbows against his knees as he put his head in his hands.

He had showed up at his ex-fiancée's house with no warning whatsoever, and now he was sitting beside her on the couch; not to mention that she was wearing a tank top and a pair of the shortest shorts he had ever seen. 'In forty degree weather,' he thought to himself.

He slowly sat back up and turned to finally really look at her for the first time that night. His eyes scanned her body from top to bottom, somewhere between annoyed and turned on. She must've noticed the look he was giving her for her to say her next words.

"My heater is broken," she said. "It won't turn off, hince the clothing and the open window."

Glancing in the direction from which a crisp breeze blew, he asked, "Why haven't you gotten it fixed?" He watched her tense at his words.

"Well, the person who usually fixes things around my house…" She trailed off and off-handedly gestured towards him.

He uncomfortably cleared his throat once he caught her meaning. "Right," he offered.

"You might want to take off your jacket," she added. Only then did Luke realize how hot he was.

He laid his coat over the arm of the chair and turned back to face Lorelai. It was a staring contest without actually making eye contact.

"Why are you here, Luke?"

"I wanted to talk," he finally got out.

"About…," she urged.

He couldn't answer her. After spending ten minutes in her house, he still didn't know how to begin. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it soon after. If he said the words that wanted to escape his lips, he knew he would be throwing too much on the table too soon, so he said the next best thing. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For treating you like shit these past few months."

"You didn't treat me like shit, Luke. Besides, I kind of deserved it."

"I did, Lorelai, and you didn't deserve it. All you wanted was to apologize and I just blew you off."

"Luke, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay," he countered. "No one deserves to be treated that way. You don't deserve to be treated that way, Lorelai."

She said nothing in response, not even a thank you, but it didn't bother him.

"And," Luke continued, not knowing where all of these words suddenly came from, "I came here to give you the answer you've wanted this whole time." He could feel her eyes intently staring at him, and he felt compelled to do the exact same thing. As soon as his eyes met hers, the words came flooding out of his mouth. "I forgive you."

Luke could swear he saw her gasp at the revelation. "You forgive me?" Lorelai asked, not quite believing what she heard.

"I forgive you," he repeated, his eyes falling to her lips.

"And you're not just saying this to get me off your back, because I'm done with the nagging, I promise."

"I mean it Lorelai. I'm sorry and I forgive you…and I miss you."

He watched her slowly come to her knees and close the small distance between them. She placed her hands on either side of him and grounded them firmly on the arm of the couch behind him. It was only a matter of seconds before she connected her lips with his. When she pulled back, he had barely opened his eyes before she whispered, "I love you."

He was worried about putting too much on the table too soon, but she ended up putting it out there first. "God, Lorelai, I love you, too," he whispered with all of the emotion he had built up inside their entire time apart.

It surprised him that Lorelai was so enthused. He expected her to be upset and unload questions and accusations. A declaration of her love was near last on the list. However, it made sense. Had he been the one begging for indulgence and understanding from the one he loved, he would have no objections to her eventual consent.

Lorelai dramatically slammed the front door, removing Luke from his reminisce. "You want to hear about the best day of my life?" Lorelai yelled her sarcastic question from the foyer while she took off her shoes and sat her purse and keys on the table.

"Sure, why not? It can't be better than mine." Luke moved himself closer to the back of the couch. Lorelai laid herself down in front of him, her back against his chest and her head on his shoulder. She let out a long, deep sigh as she let her body relax into his.

"You have no idea how happy I am to be home."

"Tiring best day of your life, huh?" Luke asked as he gently played with the strands of her hair.

"Everything's tiring when Emily Gilmore is involved." Lorelai closed her eyes at the feeling of his hands moving through her hair. "I stopped by the diner. Caesar said you headed home early."

"Yeah, business was slow. I thought I'd be needed more here than at the diner."

"And I thank you for making that decision." She sighed again. "I don't know where to start."

"Most people like to start from the beginning." Luke looked at her face and could tell she rolled her eyes, even with them closed.

"It was just Emily Gilmore being Emily Gilmore. Every syllable that came out of her mouth was condescending, attacking you of course."

"I'm not surprised," he mumbled.

"You were invited by the way," she revealed.

"I was? But Emily said-" He was silenced by Lorelai's left index finger on his lips.

"You hear what you just said?" He nodded against her lips, her meaning sinking in. "Exactly." He took her hand and kissed the ring on her finger.

"How'd you find out?"

"My Dad said something about you not being there and I connected the dots. I never brought it up though. The day was stressful enough as it was. You know, she's going to have to tolerate you like family, pretty soon love you like a son."

"Yeah well, I'll be surprised if either ends up happening." He knew Emily Gilmore. The only way she could get close to liking him was by faking it.

Lorelai slightly turned her body to face him, catching his eyes. "I guess we'll find out in a couple of months, won't we?"

"We definitely will." He kissed the ring again, this time lingering a little longer. "So, beside Emily Gilmore ruining your whole day, was everything else fine?"

Lorelai stayed quiet for a while, considered telling him about her recent thoughts and revelations, but decided that the timing wasn't quite right. "Yeah, everything was great."

He decided not to question her pause.

Luke moved his massaging hand from her hair to her thigh. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip while she concentrated on his movements.

"I can't believe it's only two months away," he said.

"I know," she agreed quietly. He watched her finger the ring on her left hand.

* * *

><p>Her knock was barely audible. The five minutes she spent staring at his door did nothing to boost her courage. It only allowed fear and guilt to soak in even further as if it wanted to become one with her. She didn't fight the attempts just yet; she was finding it increasingly difficult to fight the truth.<p>

Raising her arm once more, she clutched her purse and knocked again, this time with enough force to make her presence known.

When he opened the door, his motionless figure mirrored hers.

"Hey," she said, pushing away only some of her fear and most of her guilt, filling the voids with resentment.

She wasn't sure what his reaction might be, and quite frankly, she didn't care. His feelings weren't a priority. The only thing she was concerned about was the task at hand. She clutched her purse harder in anticipation.

"Uh, you want to come in?" She took the offer.

Chris's apartment was relatively clean, surprisingly. He wasn't one of the most organized people she knew. Only a few blankets strewn here and there, enough to show that the space was being used. She figured it was a hell of a lot easier keeping it clean when there wasn't a toddler occupying the space.

"You want something to-" he began to offer, but was cut off quickly.

"Nope." She watched him study her, she guessed in attempt to determine her motives. Apparently unable to read her, he resorted to getting straight to the point.

"I thought that the last time you saw me you said that you never wanted to see me again?"

"I did say that."

Chris waited for an explanation but received none, so he prodded more. "You sounded pretty adamant about it." His arms folded across his chest as her anger from their last conversation flooded his memories.

"That's because I meant it."

He gave her the floor once again, but she refused to take the bait. His chuckle was bitter, and he rubbed the back of his head in attempt to displace some of the tension.

He was incredibly uncomfortable with Lorelai Gilmore in his house. Their last meeting and conversation had been far from cordial. She lashed out at him, and rightfully so he would admit. The anger, though tapered, was still noticeable in her features, and the last thing he wanted to deal with was an angry Lorelai Gilmore. What broke his heart, however, was the obvious fear rooted deep inside her.

"Do you want to sit?"

"I won't be here long."

He continued to let the silence stretch, trying to counter what he was sure to be Lorelai's need for control, but his patience was wearing thin, and the longer she stared the more he could see her wheels turning, remembering events that would only increase her disdain for him, so he gave in.

"Then why are you here, Lorelai? There has to be a reason. You made it more than clear that interactions between us would be practically nonexistent."

Lorelai opened her purse and reached inside, weighing the options one last time. Coming to a consensus in her mind, she grasped hold of it, and handed it to him. "Here," she said, offering him the small envelope in her hand.

"What's this?" he asked skeptically, wondering if it was going to blow up the second he touched it.

"Open it."

He took the envelope and broke the seal, taking out the card that was inside. He skimmed over it quickly before deducing what it was. "It's a wedding invitation…_your_ wedding invitation…you're inviting me to your wedding."

"Yep," she said simply, trying to keep their dialogue to a minimum.

"After everything that we've been through, after my mistake," she rolled her eyes, "my _mistake_," he repeated with emphasis. "After what you said, you're inviting me to your wedding?" he asked again, completely confused.

"Its closure, Chris; closure for the both of us." She headed for the door and reached for the knob.

"Wait," he said, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. Lorelai's eyes immediately closed, his hand feeling like it was burning through her skin. Chris didn't have to see her face to know his mistake. He quickly pulled his hand back, just as quickly apologizing. "Oh God, I'm so sorry, Lorelai. I wasn't thinking. I…I didn't mean…"

"What do you want, Chris?" hearing enough of his apology.

"Does Rory know, about what happened?" he asked tentatively, hoping to God the answer was "no."

"No," she relieved, "and we should keep it that way. She'll damn near hate you if she knew what you did," The words were the most sympathy that she had directed towards him in months.

"Good. I agree." He looked at the invitation in his hand. "So, does this mean that you'll never speak to me again after this wedding?"

She shrugged. "If we end up having to be around each other for one of Rory's events, I'll be..partially civil, just, don't call me, Chris. Not to chat, or catch up, or whatever innocent label you put on it. I understand if there's a major, _major_ emergency, but nothing casual. You've lost that right Christopher."

He chose to not speak, only to nod in understanding. Nothing he would say would make things better. He had a better chance of digging a bigger hole than patching things up between them.

Christopher suddenly became aware of the emptiness of his apartment at the sound of his door closing after Lorelai's retreat. He had lost a daughter and both mothers of his children. It was only a matter of time before he lost Rory. She was apprehensive during her conversations with him, and even though Lorelai was adamant about Rory not knowing about the events of that night, he knew it was only a matter of time before he lost her too.


	5. BitchSwitch

Chapter 5: Bitch-Switch

Lorelai held the spiral notebook in front of her as she read the long, extensive, and barely legible list she scribbled onto the worn paper. She read each line one at a time, making sure that everything that she had written down was correct, and if it was crossed out, she made sure it was worthy of the line that crossed through it. "We have the chairs, we have the flowers, Sookie's handling the cake," she brought the list closer to her face, "what the hell are 'fadle clocks?' "

Luke grabbed the list. "You mean 'table cloths?' "

Realization immediately spread across her face. "Oh, that makes sense." She snatched the pad out of his hand, nearly tearing the page out of the notebook in the process.

Luke sat on the opposite end of the couch holding Lorelai's legs in his lap. He slowly ran his hands up and down her smooth, bare legs as he listened, for what he was sure was the hundredth time, to his fiancée obsess over their finished wedding arrangements.

"We have the tables, Taylor's confirmed our 'Event Center' for the reception," she said sarcastically, referring to all the paperwork they had to go through just to use the town square for their reception. "You have your suit," Luke snorted, Lorelai ignored, "I have my dress, the wedding party has their outfits-"

"Lorelai, please, c'mon," Tired of planning a wedding that was already planned, Luke reached over to grab the tablet from the insane woman beside him. She immediately pulled the booklet out of his reach.

"Wait, I'm not done yet," she said, eyes still focused on the paper.

"Lorelai, everything's done. Will you just leave it alone?"

"Luke, this is our wedding we're planning here."

"No, this is our wedding you're re-planning," he reached for the pad once more, again failing to gain possession.

"We still don't have a ring bearer," she claimed, ignoring his attempts. For the first time in a long time she diverted her eyes and looked at Luke.

He caught her gaze and saw an expression that was all too familiar. "Paul Anka is not going to be our ring bearer," he said finally knowing exactly what she was getting at.

"But Luke-"

"No," he said cutting off her protest.

"But we don't have a-"

"What about Martha?" he quickly suggested trying to find a solution to the problem other than their dog.

"Martha's the flower girl," Lorelai said rolling her eyes at his lack of knowledge as to who was doing what.

"Davey," he tried again.

"He's people shy," she shot down.

Luke turned his head and looked across the room at Paul Anka who was lazily lounging in a chair and staring directly at him. He turned back to Lorelai and said with finality in his voice, "Paul Anka is not going to be our ring bearer."

"But-"

At that moment Lorelai had forgotten about keeping her tablet away from Luke and raised it in the air as she began to protest. Immediately seeing the opportunity, Luke reached up and snatched it out of her hand. "Ha."

"Hey!" She quickly reached to get it, but he snatched it back just as quick.

"Nope." Luke looked at her shocked expression as he slid the booklet under the couch. "I promise, you'll get it back," he assured, but that still didn't stop the pout from forming on her face.

"Luke, do you have any idea what is living under this couch? I was looking under there for the remote and pulled out a Backstreet Boys cassette."

He chuckled. "You had Backstreet Boys cassettes?"

Lorelai quickly shook her head. "That's beside the point. Luke-"

"Lorelai, you're obsessing over this way too much. I know you want it to be perfect and it will be, but you just gotta give it a break for awhile." He watched the pout slowly slide off her face at his words. "You still have three weeks; that's plenty of time. But I don't want you to be spending your time stressing out over this," he took her hand and pulled her up, turning her around so she was leaning against his chest, "I want you to spend this time relaxing, with me. Okay?" he whispered in her ear.

She only nodded. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her temple pulling her close. "I'm sorry," she said placing her hands on top of his. Her apology was such a mix of sincerity and reluctance that it made him laugh. "It's okay," he assured, kissing her temple again.

Luke buried his face in her hair, allowing intoxicating smell of her shampoo to fill his nostrils and relax his mind and body the way no drug could. It had been weeks since he'd been able to actually be with his fiancée and not the wedding-crazed maniac that had taken over her body. He felt her body relax in his arms as he lightly ran his fingers over her stomach. It was in the few and in-between moments like these that Luke wondered how they could've possibly almost ruined what was sure to be perfection.

Lorelai traced on Luke's arm the same pattern that Luke made on her stomach. Unaware of Luke's thought's Lorelai smiled slightly and stated softly, "We've been through a lot of shit this year haven't we?"

He chuckled softly into her hair. "Yes, we have."

She remained quiet for a while before adding, "Me being a complete idiot didn't help matters much."

"You weren't an idiot," he assured. "Maybe a little misguided but not an idiot."

She sat up and turned to face him. "I'm the one who started this whole thing. I'm the one who gave you the ultimatum, I'm the one who...I'm the one who left you-"

"But you came back. That's all that matters." The words left slowly from his mouth, but the wave of emotion that came over her was immediate. "You can't blame yourself for what that jackass did. If anyone was an idiot it was me."

Lorelai turned to lie back against his chest. "That is true," she agreed with a smile. Several seconds went by before she spoke again. "I never meant to hurt you."

He kissed her temple. "Haven't we discussed this already?"

"Yes, we have, I know. I just-," she squeezed his hand tightly, "I want to make sure you know."

"I know Lorelai," he whispered in her ear, "I know you didn't." Luke lifted her left hand and thumbed at the ring on her finger. "The year did have its highlights, even if they were accompanied by a wedding planning freak."

"Hey, Buddy, it comes with the package."

Thoughts concerning her wedding began to flood into her brain once again, and as she mentally scanned through her guest list she was reminded of an invitation that had been personally hand delivered only three days ago. She hadn't told Luke yet, and she knew that when she did the fallout would be colossal, but he deserved to know. "Hey, Luke?"

"Yeah, Lorelai?"

She looked down at Luke's fingers that were still twiddling her ring. It was bad timing. There they were lying on the couch in each other's warm embrace, and she was about to ruin the moment. It could wait.

"I love you," is what she resorted to instead of a moment-killing confession.

Oblivious to the battle waged in his fiancée's head, Luke only held her tighter in his arms. "I love you too, Lorelai."

* * *

><p>Lorelai took another sip of her wine, trying to ignore the eyes that were boring into the side of her head. "The food is delicious, Mom. Seriously, the grilled asparagus is…to die for." Her sarcasm was lost on no one at the table.<p>

Ignoring her daughter's tone, Emily respectfully responded with a slight edge in her voice. "It's been a while since we've grilled. I thought a little change might be nice."

"The pork is delicious, Emily," Luke added in, trying to at least settle the score.

"Thank you, Luke." Her eyes remained on her daughter. "Lorelai, how far along are you with your wedding plans?"

Lorelai took another sip of wine and looked up at her loving fiancé. "Well considering that I haven't been able to do anything for the past three days I'd say not very far at all."

Luke rolled his eyes and spoke directly to Lorelai. "What she means to say, Emily, is that she's done." He then looked at his future mother-in-law, "We're just fine tuning things."

Richard nodded his head in appreciation. "Well, considering the small amount of time that you gave yourselves, I think that's very impressive to be so close to finished. With two weeks to spare at that. Wouldn't you agree, Emily?"

"And your guest list. Is it set in stone?" ignoring her husband.

Lorelai froze under her mother's gaze. It wasn't a display of disappointment or annoyance or any of the other Emily Gilmore go-to's. It was anger, disbelief, hurt; she was flat out pissed.

The hairs stood on the back of her neck. Winds were blowing, water was stirring. "Yes it is, Mother. Why do you ask?"

Winds were swirling, loud, growing in strength and pitch. Waves were swelling. A storm was brewing, and Mother Nature was warning her to look out, because apparently she had just turned on her Bitch-Switch.

"I received an RSVP today, Lorelai," Emily began. The sky rumbled. Lorelai swore she saw the lights flicker. "I found it quite strange, actually. Everyone on your list had responded and here is this RSVP. A floater, I called it." Window panes were rattling. "Are you interested in knowing who it was, Lorelai?"

Tornado? Hurricane?

"Mom." It came out as a whisper, desperate and pathetic.

"What about you Luke? Would you like to know?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess." His food was long forgotten. He had originally dismissed Emily's questioning as the usual, but it didn't take him long—a glance at a broken Lorelai and over the edge Emily—to realize that this was different.

The small puff of air that came from Emily throwing the envelope onto the table felt like a gust. She could imagine what it looked like from the outside: slow motion, her hair blown back, her eyes closing, shielding herself from the assault, her head turning in shame.

She didn't have to open her eyes to know that her fiancé had left the table. He didn't put on a show or make a fuss. No; that wasn't Luke. His quiet exit was haunting. Deathly.

The calm before the storm had never been more deafening.


	6. Mercy vs Justice

I re-posted this chapter because of the chapter number being wrong. This one went through a lot of editing and chapter shifting. The content is still the same, it just says 6 instead of 8 now. I didn't want to confuse you all too much, even though I probably just did. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: Mercy vs. Justice<p>

He was not sure what his lazy fingers pulled out of the wallet, but judging by the look on the taxi driver's surprised expression, the bills were more than enough to cover his fare. He attempted to take a step towards the house, but the darkness combined with some slight dizziness made the task substantially more difficult than it should have been for a 40 year old man.

"You sure you can make it up the steps, Buddy?"

It was a few seconds before Luke realized the over-tipped taxi driver had spoken. Even longer to comprehend the question. "Uh, yeah, I'm good. Fine…"

"You sure?"

Luke was fairly positive that he wasn't fine, for more reasons than a couple beers and shots too many, but he refrained from answering; no one else deserved to be subjected to the clusterfuck that was his life.

His lack of a response also stemmed from him failing to find the energy to form words, so he held up his hand in assurance. A phrase that he couldn't make out was mumbled behind him, but he assumed it wasn't important as he watched the shadows left by the taxi's headlights slowly disappear from the trees.

He mustered up what little optimism he had left to convince himself that he wasn't as drunk as he could have been. A few more drinks, sure, he'd be pulling himself up the stairs because his legs wouldn't work. But now, he could form sentences, have logical thoughts, and had complete control over his legs – the majority of the time, at least.

He stared longingly at the random assortment of items on the porch, envious that they had already conquered the steps. Hell, someone had even been kind enough to carry them to the top. He pulled his phone from his front pant pocket. His initial goal was to check the time, but it was not realizing that it was more than a couple hours after midnight that caught his attention; it was the eight missed calls plus the handful of voicemails. He had put his phone on silent after walking out in the middle of Friday Night Dinner. He considered taking the jeep; he did have the keys after all. In the heat of his rage, however, he tossed the keys on the jeep's hood. He wasn't certain what statement he was trying to make, he was sure that some pretentious academic could find meaning in the act, but he tossed the keys and left the driveway on foot.

Foot. Each one was currently glued to the ground with no intention of moving. But the steps. He had to get to the steps. At least on the steps he could sit and think about his sorry excuse for a life rather than stand and go through the process.

Luke got his feet moving, all the while chastising himself for being so melodramatic. He was supposed to be done with the self-thrown pity parties. He'd thrown way too many in his life. He was about to cycle through them all, starting with Carolyn Smalltree, a girl from 3rd grade who rejected his valentine, when his foot his something solid. He was surprised though, not because he actually made it to the steps, but because of the light illuminating them.

Lorelai had turned on the porch light. She never turned on the porch light. She appointed that task, along with locking the door, as one of his duties as Man of the House.

She did it for him. She knew that he would sulk and come home late, so she left the light on for him.

He then wondered if the door was locked, but there was an obstacle about four layers high preventing him from assessing the situation. Curiosity and capability battled in his brain. He wasn't entirely confident that his mind and legs could work together to get him up four stairs, but he'd have to get there eventually.

The task wasn't as difficult as he thought it'd be, and he soon found himself at the front door, hand hovering over its handle.

In his less than sober state, he somehow turned a lock and a porch light into something symbolic. If the door was locked, she didn't feel safe about being home alone and he would then feel like an ass. If the door was unlocked, not only did she leave the light on for him, but the door open for him too, and once again, he'd feel like an ass. Somehow, even though she was the one who screwed up, he was the one who ended up being the asshole.

"Seriously, Lorelai?" he whispered, dejectedly. Tentatively, his finger wrapped around the handle. He readied himself to see and feel the rotation of his wrist stop, but it didn't. It was unlocked. Rather than push the door open, he released the handle. His forehead made contact with the cool glass of the window pane. Lorelai leaving the door unlocked was normal, but even the mentally unstable wouldn't turn on a porch light and neglect to lock a door not three feet away.

It shouldn't be such a big deal, but he's drunk and melodramatic and in the middle of his pity party, so it is.

* * *

><p>A glimmer of light shined through the front door's window.<p>

The constant ticking of the clock was wearing on her nerves, each tick representing her increasing cowardice, afraid of what was to come if she awakened a deep slumbering Luke. She would guess he had gotten about seven hours of sleep so far. It probably was not enough given his sprawled position on the couch, dressed head to toe in the same thing he was wearing the night before. She glanced at the glass of water and pain killers she placed on the table for him. Hangovers could be a bitch, and she considered letting him suffer through it naturally as payback for disappearing all night, but sober and pissed Luke was difficult enough to reason with; she didn't want to experience hangover-ridden and pissed Luke.

Maybe five more minutes, and she would wake him up. As if the last 5 minutes did much of anything for him.

Her fingers grasped the front of her rob, pulled it tight around her shoulders, and then she leaned back into the chair cushions. She had to ready herself, prepare herself for the impending fight. It was likely, though, she would lose from fatigue. Emily landed every jab that she could the night before, and she barely attempted to block them. The moment she realized Luke wasn't reappearing at the Gilmore mansion, she headed home to continue her wait. Alternating between worry and irritation ushered her to sleep before she could hear him come through the door.

Lorelai's eyes began to take in the dim light shining through the door when Luke's stirring caught her attention.

The moment his eyes opened their eyes met. Lorelai could sense the wheels turning in his head as he made sense of his current position: fully clothed on the couch with what she was sure a pounding headache. The contact was broken once things became clear.

"Hey. " Her voice was more timid than she had hoped.

"Hey." His voice was colder than she had hoped.

When he glanced at the pills she placed on the table, "Take them. I know you were drinking last night, and as much as you'd like to think you can hold your liquor, you can't. Take the pills."

Luke pushed himself into an upright position before washing down the capsules. At the moment, he was more thankful for something besides alcohol going into his system than the pain killers.

"What time did you get home last night?"

"I don't know," the indifference evident in his voice, "two, three in the morning I guess."

"Why didn't you come upstairs?"

"When would you rather have this conversation, Lorelai, at 3am when I can barely stand up straight, or now?" There wasn't a hint of humor in his voice. The anger was setting in once again, less than it would have been the night before, but it still had plenty of bite.

"Well, I guess small talk is over, huh?" She exhaled, readied herself for the impending blow, and then looked at the annoying ticking clock. Ten minutes. They'd be done yelling at each other in ten minutes. "I agree. Now is definitely a better time to talk about this."

She had never heard a laugh so bitter. "After a month of opportunities to talk, _now_ you want to have a conversation?"

No, twenty minutes.

Only five minutes in to their conversation, and Luke was pacing, Lorelai was massaging her temples, and Paul Anka had taken to cowering in the corner by the staircase.

"You weren't supposed to find out this way. I was going to tell you."

"Yea, when? Before or after he signed our guest book?"

"You know I wouldn't have let you go in to that blind."

"Well that's sure as hell what happened last night."

Her hands now cradle her head, and again she mumbled, "You weren't supposed to find out this way…"

Luke stopped pacing and turned to face his burnt out fiancée. A hand landed on his hip while the other pressed at the tension at the back of his neck. "You know, you keep saying that, Lorelai, but what do you think? That if you took me out to a nice dinner, showed me some seating charts and a game-plan that I'd be alright with everything? Come on, Lorelai. You aren't that naive."

"Luke, please," she started, but was interrupted.

"And it's not just the fact that you invited him to our wedding. What pisses me off most is that you went to him, Lorelai."

"I know. I should have discussed it with you first. I'm realizing that now."

"Well, that's doing us a hell of a lot of good."

Lorelai's words were barely audible over the deafening silence. "It was something that I had to do. For us."

"What?"

"Luke, look at us. We're in our living room at nine on a Saturday morning arguing about Christopher Hayden, a man that we haven't had any contact with in almost half a year. You know what I mean," she added, at Luke's look of disbelief.

"I still don't understand what that has to do with any of this?"

"He can't just be out of our lives, Luke. He has to be out of our relationship."

He nodded curtly. "I agree."

"Then why are you so pissed that I talked to him?"

"He-" Luke pauses, considering his words. "He sexually abused you, Lorelai. We were sitting right here," he states, pointing to the couch that he used as a bed not much earlier, "when we agreed that you weren't going to see him or speak to him again."

"I know, Luke, I was there." She was deflated and exhausted and ready to put an end to their argument.

"Then please explain to me, Lorelai, the point to all of this."

"What's his name?"

The question was not what he was expecting, and it took him a moment to form a response. "Excuse me?"

"Say his name."

"Who's name, that jackass? Wh-"

"See, right there," she annunciated with her finger pointed straight at him. "That's why."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You won't even say his name, Luke," she close to yelled.

"Why the fuck does it matter, Lorelai?!" He wasn't getting the answers he wanted. The only thing he'd gained so far was annoyance and a bigger headache.

"The hold that he has is on you, Luke, not me. It's been months since you've said his name. I don't even think your mouth can combine the fucking syllables anymore." She got on her feet at some point in her rant and made her way over to Luke, less than two feet between them. "You can be pissed at him for the rest of your life, for all I care, but you have to leave him out of this relationship and realize that he's not a threat anymore."

"The man almost raped you, Lorelai!"

"Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I'm not affected or hurt by what he did? I'm the one he pushed against the wall, Luke. He forced himself on me, and you were the one who had to come in and stop him," her laugh now contained the bitterness his once had, "after you left, might I add."

"I didn't leave, I stepped outside," he argued.

"You were good as gone in my book."

"But I came back. And don't act like I wasn't there when we talked about this ad nauseam after it happened. We've been working through this together, Lorelai. I've gotten past it."

"You have?"

"Yes, I have."

"Then why can't you say his name?" Silence. She watched Luke move towards the couch and take the same position she had earlier: head in hands, body wrecked with emotional fatigue. "This, arguing, is what our life will be if we don't move past this," she continued. "I'm not saying that we should forgive and forget, because I'm sure as hell not ready to do either, but it can't be the constant burden that it is now. Giving him that invitation wasn't me hanging on to him. He needs to see that we're happy and that he needs to let go just as much as you need him to. We should be happy without being afraid that a memory will tear us apart."

She waited for him to say she was right, to tell her that her words made as much sense to him as they did to her and that this was a legitimate solution, but the movement of his head from side to side was to the contrary.

His voice was gruff, but so much calmer than the last few moments. "There has to be a better way."

Knowing that this was evidence of her defeat, eager to oblige, she surrendered. "Then we'll figure it out."

Tension hung thick in the silence that surrounded them, and her upright position that had given her strength and a confidence moments before now left her feeling awkward and out of place. She was surprised to feel his large hand wrap behind her knee and give a comforting squeeze.

"We'll call…" he was struggling, she could tell, a battle of heart and mind, she presumed, but his heart ultimately won, "call _him_ tonight. Retract your offer. He's not coming to our wedding."

He stood suddenly, knocking her off balance slightly, but before she had a chance to fall, his arm wrapped around her waist, and a soft kissed was placed on her temple. "I'll make you breakfast after I take a shower."

She remained in place until she heard the water running upstairs. She's not sure what's in store for their relationship, much less their future, but she doesn't know what to do, so she does the only thing that makes sense at the moment. She turns off the porch light.

* * *

><p>Only a couple of chapters left to go guys!<p>

I hope I answered a few questions people might have had. Please, let me know what you think, I'm open to all.


End file.
